Spouting Off
Spouting Off
Sports analogies never work but since this is more of a personal testimony, I am going to give it a shot (sports analogy). I have never watched women’s college basketball. This year, though, some of the women were having historic seasons and I kept hearing about a player or two who are “generational players” and so I decided to check out the last couple of tournament games. Someone I love, whom I will paint in a not so favorable light and so will go unmentioned, watched with me. As we watched, one of us tried to keep their opinions to a minimum. Having never watched women’s basketball before and not being familiar with the level of play, the type of play, etc. they simply observed. The other one of us, let their opinion flow full or free. Even though we only watched part of the first game, they had opinions about almost every player and every team. Things such as having a bad game, poor match ups, maybe someone was ill or hurt, etc. were not considered. If they missed an easy shot or if there was a hard foul, the opinions flowed freely. It brought back flashbacks from years ago when we sat down to watch the NBA finals together and “the other one” kept remarking how horrible Larry Bird was and that he needed to be benched. Certainly they have a right to their opinion, but maybe a bigger sample size is needed before you draw conclusions?
It was just a few basketball games and sports are certainly a safe place for opinions. That is part of the fun of sports. Everyone can play Monday morning quarterback and sit in their recliners and whine about those who get paid and yet we probably could play better. After all, when we played in Junior High… But, have you noticed how much this kind of habit has grown into almost all areas of our lives? I wonder if we realize how discouraging we are to others when we decide to add our opinion or thoughts to a situation? Often it is only one comment or a seemingly innocent question but they are like daggers of discouragement to those on the receiving end. “Huh, I would have never thought it would take that long”. “Did you think about doing it this way?” “Nice job but I am not a fan of that color”. “I read on the internet that…”. So many subtle and not so subtle ways of giving an opinion that shoot a little dagger at the person and what they are doing. It really doesn’t matter if you meant it to harm or not, it probably just didn’t need to be said.
Did you ever stop and think about why we feel the need to add our two cents? What does it matter if you would have done it in a different way or not? The job is all ready done. This is not a teaching moment because it is done all ready. It is a look at me moment. I know more. My taste is better than your taste. I was reminded of all of this when I was hanging out with one of my friends. He had just retired and treated himself to a new car. He loves technology and gadgets (he is a bit nerdy that way) and so he bought an electric car. With all the incentives, etc, he bought a Tesla. The amount of technology sated his appetite. He loves messing with his phone and his car. His decision was not a political decision. It was not a decision to save the environment or to endorse everything Tesla stands for. Yet, hardly a day does not go by that someone does not have a comment, or twelve, to share with him about his car. Even at church, many have shared how disappointed they are in the fact that he has bought into all the global warming stuff. Opinions. Reminds me of when I rode a motorcycle and all the people who came up to me to share about a loved one who was killed or hurt riding a motorcycle. Were they giving a loving warning about riding a bike or simply sharing with me their jaded opinion about what was dangerous or not? If you have made it reading this far, you probably all ready have several “facts” you want to share with me that would round out my blog. Truth is, what does it matter how much fossil fuels it takes to build an electric car if my friend simply finds it fun to drive the car? Can’t we just enjoy his joy and enjoy how much trunk space he has?
“A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion” Prov 18:2. That is a good verse to meditate on. You have to take some time in meditating, though, because your first thoughts are about others and how you must give them understanding! Ed needs to understand the dangers of motorcycles. If I can explain it better to him than he may be a safer ride. We fail to stop and think about how maybe we need to understand how our comments may discourage the other person. Maybe they struggled with how to get something done and the first comment you share is how you would have done it differently? How much joy of their accomplishment did you just steal? Shouldn’t we spend more time understanding the people and circumstances we are speaking into? My friend just wanted to buy one car, in his lifetime, that, to him, was a fun car. Why do we feel as if we need to speak our opinions when we really do not understand him and his circumstances? Be quicker to recognize the arrogance of believing you are right when you really do not understand the whole picture. Larry Bird may have just missed three shots in a row but, knowing the whole picture of his career, I still want him to take the next shot.
Sports analogies never work but since this is more of a personal testimony, I am going to give it a shot (sports analogy). I have never watched women’s college basketball. This year, though, some of the women were having historic seasons and I kept hearing about a player or two who are “generational players” and so I decided to check out the last couple of tournament games. Someone I love, whom I will paint in a not so favorable light and so will go unmentioned, watched with me. As we watched, one of us tried to keep their opinions to a minimum. Having never watched women’s basketball before and not being familiar with the level of play, the type of play, etc. they simply observed. The other one of us, let their opinion flow full or free. Even though we only watched part of the first game, they had opinions about almost every player and every team. Things such as having a bad game, poor match ups, maybe someone was ill or hurt, etc. were not considered. If they missed an easy shot or if there was a hard foul, the opinions flowed freely. It brought back flashbacks from years ago when we sat down to watch the NBA finals together and “the other one” kept remarking how horrible Larry Bird was and that he needed to be benched. Certainly they have a right to their opinion, but maybe a bigger sample size is needed before you draw conclusions?
It was just a few basketball games and sports are certainly a safe place for opinions. That is part of the fun of sports. Everyone can play Monday morning quarterback and sit in their recliners and whine about those who get paid and yet we probably could play better. After all, when we played in Junior High… But, have you noticed how much this kind of habit has grown into almost all areas of our lives? I wonder if we realize how discouraging we are to others when we decide to add our opinion or thoughts to a situation? Often it is only one comment or a seemingly innocent question but they are like daggers of discouragement to those on the receiving end. “Huh, I would have never thought it would take that long”. “Did you think about doing it this way?” “Nice job but I am not a fan of that color”. “I read on the internet that…”. So many subtle and not so subtle ways of giving an opinion that shoot a little dagger at the person and what they are doing. It really doesn’t matter if you meant it to harm or not, it probably just didn’t need to be said.
Did you ever stop and think about why we feel the need to add our two cents? What does it matter if you would have done it in a different way or not? The job is all ready done. This is not a teaching moment because it is done all ready. It is a look at me moment. I know more. My taste is better than your taste. I was reminded of all of this when I was hanging out with one of my friends. He had just retired and treated himself to a new car. He loves technology and gadgets (he is a bit nerdy that way) and so he bought an electric car. With all the incentives, etc, he bought a Tesla. The amount of technology sated his appetite. He loves messing with his phone and his car. His decision was not a political decision. It was not a decision to save the environment or to endorse everything Tesla stands for. Yet, hardly a day does not go by that someone does not have a comment, or twelve, to share with him about his car. Even at church, many have shared how disappointed they are in the fact that he has bought into all the global warming stuff. Opinions. Reminds me of when I rode a motorcycle and all the people who came up to me to share about a loved one who was killed or hurt riding a motorcycle. Were they giving a loving warning about riding a bike or simply sharing with me their jaded opinion about what was dangerous or not? If you have made it reading this far, you probably all ready have several “facts” you want to share with me that would round out my blog. Truth is, what does it matter how much fossil fuels it takes to build an electric car if my friend simply finds it fun to drive the car? Can’t we just enjoy his joy and enjoy how much trunk space he has?
“A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion” Prov 18:2. That is a good verse to meditate on. You have to take some time in meditating, though, because your first thoughts are about others and how you must give them understanding! Ed needs to understand the dangers of motorcycles. If I can explain it better to him than he may be a safer ride. We fail to stop and think about how maybe we need to understand how our comments may discourage the other person. Maybe they struggled with how to get something done and the first comment you share is how you would have done it differently? How much joy of their accomplishment did you just steal? Shouldn’t we spend more time understanding the people and circumstances we are speaking into? My friend just wanted to buy one car, in his lifetime, that, to him, was a fun car. Why do we feel as if we need to speak our opinions when we really do not understand him and his circumstances? Be quicker to recognize the arrogance of believing you are right when you really do not understand the whole picture. Larry Bird may have just missed three shots in a row but, knowing the whole picture of his career, I still want him to take the next shot.
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