One More Time
One More Time
OK, I am going to harp on this one more time. I know we all mean well. I know we think we are helping. I know that when we see our family members and friends struggling that we want to help. But, like I wrote last week, we must learn to have a spirit of humility. A spirit of humility does not mean that you state your opinions with graciousness and kindness. It means that you learn that your opinions are just that...opinions. Opinions, most often, just do not need to be shared. You are not a medical expert because you read one article. A person struggling with an illness, who is speaking to their doctors, is not asking your opinion when they share their struggle. They are venting and in need of compassion, empathy, and mercy more than the pressure of your knee jerk reaction to what you believe is wrong with the medical establishment. I am not sure we realize the pressure we put on our loved ones when we spout those kinds of opinions. They are scared and unsure enough without us adding our two cents. There is a time and place for educated advice but we must be very careful giving advice that may have a hint of truth in it but we do not know enough about our friends situation to know if the advice really fits or not. We may think, “What harm can it do?” but in reality, it puts doubts and pressures on those who are ill and adds to their stress. We move on when the advice we give does not fit. Well, it was a thought and we shrug our shoulders. Worth a shot! Meanwhile the patient has fretted and complicated their all ready stressful situation. They feel guilty if they do not try every “cure” that someone heard on Facebook. By the way, this also applies to every story you want to share about someone you know who went through the same thing! And it applies to your health story that probably does not truly fit either.
Fighting an illness takes all of your effort. It is not something that you struggle with for a few hours, get distracted, and then struggle again. Often times it is an every moment struggle. Add to that the uncertainty of life, pain, waiting to get tests or test results, the boredom of being cooped up in bed, etc. and you can begin to see how difficult this can be. Then a well meaning friend or loved one comes in with advice or thoughts that they want us to defy our doctors or chase down another idea and things are made worse. How do you not chase down an idea that may help? But how do you chase down these ideas when you are in bed ill and now you must argue with the ones who are tasked with making you better? They do this every day and are the experts and now you must push their buttons because your friend read an article on how shark cartilage may help?
Job was caught in an object lesson that God was giving to Satan and others. His friends knew nothing about this object lesson. They had the conventional wisdom of the day. They had what they believed was the only answer for Job’s problems. He must confess his sin. But they were wrong. All three thought what they knew what was so obvious. They wanted to help Job. They wanted to rescue their friend from his suffering. But all they did was add more pressure to an all ready stressful situation. If they simply showed compassion or offered strength, they would have been helpful. But they insisted on what seemed obvious to them.
People who are ill and weak often need advocates who fight for them. They need others who are clear thinking, who can listen to what the doctors are truly saying, who can make sure that proper care is given, and who can chase down all the bureaucracy for them. They need people to be their strength. But that takes full involvement in their situation. It takes someone who is gathering all the facts, who knows them completely, and who is willing to walk right along side of them. The do not need Monday morning quarterbacks who stand apart and shout opinions.
Wanting to help those we love is admirable. But having enough humility to know what your role needs to be is wisdom. You may not be called to solve their problems. You may not be helping when you give your opinion. Your role may simply be to listen, empathize, and offer the strength of your love. Give the hope of Jesus and his love more than the hope of some medical article you just read.
Now, let’s tackle our opinions about national problems that we know very little about but we know how to solve them...it is so obvious!
OK, I am going to harp on this one more time. I know we all mean well. I know we think we are helping. I know that when we see our family members and friends struggling that we want to help. But, like I wrote last week, we must learn to have a spirit of humility. A spirit of humility does not mean that you state your opinions with graciousness and kindness. It means that you learn that your opinions are just that...opinions. Opinions, most often, just do not need to be shared. You are not a medical expert because you read one article. A person struggling with an illness, who is speaking to their doctors, is not asking your opinion when they share their struggle. They are venting and in need of compassion, empathy, and mercy more than the pressure of your knee jerk reaction to what you believe is wrong with the medical establishment. I am not sure we realize the pressure we put on our loved ones when we spout those kinds of opinions. They are scared and unsure enough without us adding our two cents. There is a time and place for educated advice but we must be very careful giving advice that may have a hint of truth in it but we do not know enough about our friends situation to know if the advice really fits or not. We may think, “What harm can it do?” but in reality, it puts doubts and pressures on those who are ill and adds to their stress. We move on when the advice we give does not fit. Well, it was a thought and we shrug our shoulders. Worth a shot! Meanwhile the patient has fretted and complicated their all ready stressful situation. They feel guilty if they do not try every “cure” that someone heard on Facebook. By the way, this also applies to every story you want to share about someone you know who went through the same thing! And it applies to your health story that probably does not truly fit either.
Fighting an illness takes all of your effort. It is not something that you struggle with for a few hours, get distracted, and then struggle again. Often times it is an every moment struggle. Add to that the uncertainty of life, pain, waiting to get tests or test results, the boredom of being cooped up in bed, etc. and you can begin to see how difficult this can be. Then a well meaning friend or loved one comes in with advice or thoughts that they want us to defy our doctors or chase down another idea and things are made worse. How do you not chase down an idea that may help? But how do you chase down these ideas when you are in bed ill and now you must argue with the ones who are tasked with making you better? They do this every day and are the experts and now you must push their buttons because your friend read an article on how shark cartilage may help?
Job was caught in an object lesson that God was giving to Satan and others. His friends knew nothing about this object lesson. They had the conventional wisdom of the day. They had what they believed was the only answer for Job’s problems. He must confess his sin. But they were wrong. All three thought what they knew what was so obvious. They wanted to help Job. They wanted to rescue their friend from his suffering. But all they did was add more pressure to an all ready stressful situation. If they simply showed compassion or offered strength, they would have been helpful. But they insisted on what seemed obvious to them.
People who are ill and weak often need advocates who fight for them. They need others who are clear thinking, who can listen to what the doctors are truly saying, who can make sure that proper care is given, and who can chase down all the bureaucracy for them. They need people to be their strength. But that takes full involvement in their situation. It takes someone who is gathering all the facts, who knows them completely, and who is willing to walk right along side of them. The do not need Monday morning quarterbacks who stand apart and shout opinions.
Wanting to help those we love is admirable. But having enough humility to know what your role needs to be is wisdom. You may not be called to solve their problems. You may not be helping when you give your opinion. Your role may simply be to listen, empathize, and offer the strength of your love. Give the hope of Jesus and his love more than the hope of some medical article you just read.
Now, let’s tackle our opinions about national problems that we know very little about but we know how to solve them...it is so obvious!
Recent
Archive
2024
2023
December
2022
Categories
no categories
No Comments